I'm a bit confused. Every magazine I pick up and every Oprah I watch seems to be implying that 'they can tell me how to have the best sex of my life.' Be it over 30, 40 or 50.
How do you gauge these things?? Now I know he wasn't having 'his' best sex- obviously the grass is greener on the other side and he knew that somehow. But me? I was having the best sex of mine.
I'm really not sure what the meter is on the good sex stick. Are they assuming that the 80's data claiming women struggle with orgasm is still the case?? I don't know a woman who isn't cuming, multiple times for that matter. Sure I know women who don't give head and certainly don't swallow. Even a few that won't have it with the lights on still. But for the most part, I am surrounded by freaks in the bed with shrink wrap for p*ssy!
How would you take that test to determine whether you're having the best sex of your life?? Are we as a society, really too busy to take it outside once in a while, wear sexy goodies and reinvent foreplay as a way of life? Do you have to crawl into bed under camera and be critiqued or can you be your own judge? We can't very well compare ourselves to the flix, with the digitally enhanced hoo-haa's. That's just depressing… and only Trin has the tits of a Porn Star in my circle. The rest of us are enjoying sex in the back yard just fine.
We have it coming from all directions. Either our bodies don't match up and we are hoarding a little jar in the top of the glass cupboard, saving nickels for our Peachy Tuck (Labiaplasty) – somewhere after the 20th glimpse of an especially perky and equally trimmed Pu-tang … or someone on TV thinks they know how to have sex better than we do.
I only take offense because I listen to friends question what they have to offer as a result of these obsessions. I want for us as a media to feel open about sex. I guess I just thought it could help us see how we are more alike than different.
I may not like myself naked, but that won't get in the way of me expressing myself- nor making requests for expressions I would as well enjoy. Why does the media box us all in??
(Sure, I have a jar in the top of my cup cupboard. It's only $3500 and I can look like a 22 year old down there again… Guess I hope by the time I come up with the other $3480 I can think of a better way to spend it.)
Anybody knows a friend who likes homecooked meals and a little cushion for the …… have 'em look me up. ;)
In the mean time, I boycott the Cosmo and Oprah. I've been having a blended orgasm for years!!
