full

full

my fear is what you will fill the empty with…
the hole

and what I know
is at least I can breathe for you when its hard.
very peace and zen like
bringing in the good food

even leave you with a bell
just because im a pro at loving well.

can you forget you don’t know me?
ill read to you…
and trim your nails.
well have rituals.

ill bathe you
in one of those freestanding tubs-
with
a blend of oils that will fill your pores

like in the English patient… that afternoon they loved eachother

in that little space of time they had
and they still loved hard.

only im not looking to be loved
im not planning on asking anything from you

only for the opportunity to
rub your feet and whisper prayers into your soles
that sound something like

‘im not the people that built those walls. and id love for you to let me show up all the love I am and bring them down.’

I wont hurt you, is all. I really will show up with your best in my heart. even when I bite your toes.

I think what hurts is I well know the feeling of the after shocks- where it still feels like the earth is crumbling under your feet with a fist in the hair of your years. and I want for you to wake up in a peace every morning where those memories slip further and further away until they feel like someone elses life and you get to breathe deep in contentment to your now.

but ill pray silently…
and youll ask ‘what did you say…’

but I cant tell you.
it would ruin the surprise of your becoming.

and I want us to take the best walks.
I wont talk…
you can if you like. or not if you don’t.

and when I watch you sleep-
I will no longer take pictures,
ill sketch you
all princess and the pea like-
for the way you love your bed.

ill sing you awake on Monday mornings
and play that new song ive
been picking…
teach you a chord a week.
create together.
before I slip out the door

and ill even give you 23 hours a day, 6 days a week to live your way….
all aimless and unsure like….
just trade me that one hour a day - 1 day a week

we can wear blind folds-
change our names
and be from different cities.
talk with an accent.

just let me love you…
let me be what fills the hole in those minutes and hours.

cause the way you love
it deserves to be nurtured
gratitude showered on it
and observation…

I take notes.
daily.

only I don’t think you receive my thank yous

a little at a time
you will believe the glow on your skin…
and finally you will know
that it was always your home

your comfort will relax your lip
and you will speak the most beautiful
dreams.

well weave them into songs and take this show on the road…

the first album entitled- ‘full’.


-amylynn
5.14.09
9:46pm