if i never say his name again

language does not have a word for the beyond love between some friends.
even to sign it you would have to pair anguish bliss and love in 6 syllables in a heap, yet wrapped snug in peace- neck raised to the sun.

and as my eyes sting, burning the place his lashes would rest at my temples, when I stood in his arms at the end of long days, filled with less words than notions- when we found no need to speak-

I am amazed that in 20 years we could have packed this place to the gills with understanding that never needed words.

If I never say his name again, the universe would not forget the prayers my dreams beg for him and he walks taller for my efforts.

but then, it was always effortless.

Space will take action- where love never required it.

when you love someone more than whatever ‘in love’ is- you don’t mess that up.
he says I loved him better than anyone in his life. called it Royalty.
I can only hope that time will be a bridge never burned by my goodbye.

april 2008