loving well

steven and I have a connection of emotional intellect that rivals any relationship I have… and he keeps me grounded in the laws of the universe when I want to go back to being my history- my story…

I have come to accept that every single thing is a gift. and to actually sit then- in wait- of what is coming next- because I do know for sure- that I signed up for every bit of it.
I no longer resist the universe. even when losing the children. I had to agree that these were their contracts.

ive distinguished a few of my agreements over the years… loving well and value have been two. I have known for the greater part of my adult life that I came into this life to learn my own value- and then impart that knowing to every person I will have the opportunity to touch- and to do that in diligent action.

gary Zukav says, in soul to soul- ‘ you cannot experience the vastness of your ability to love by loving in moderation. you may not be able to hug everyone you meet, but your heart can be open…’ he goes on to say ‘ openness to others as you would like others to be open to you, is love. love is making the needs of others as important as your own- love is a fire that is out of control. once ignited, it cannot be contained. you may strive for moderation in diet, exercise and work out hours, but striving for moderation in love is like striving for moderation in breathing- practice moderation in all things, except love. ‘ ( footnote- love is NOT romance)

therefore- in my connection with myself- I then extend that connection in community- and hold a space of love wherever I am.

the night I met steven- I literally crossed the dance floor to dance with him… all night long… and fell in lifetime love with him- instantly. people debate love at first sight. I hook line and sinker believe that we can recognize pieces of ourselves instantly- and invest in that extension of ourselves with every ounce of our spirit the moment the universe gives us opportunity… and if you recognize that opportunity instantly- ( I have an intuition that takes speaking to my heart very seriously)- then by all means- reach out and touch the heart of that someone.

turns out- steven didn’t feel he was very ready at first… but you should see us now…

playing gestures on mill in the coffee shop the other day- he gently walked up to a woman he had never met and asked her to join us… we made a little conversation and she was up to her elbows in our game, invited us to her salon, exchanged cards and we had a new friend…. I love that he reaches out to people… and that Jorge shared him with me!

few people make me feel as special in my kind of special as steven does. he loves my furnace and he increasingly understands it…

he asked me the other day how I like to be loved. I almost said ‘ very carefully ‘ ( I have an incredibly sensitive heart…) but instead I said, ‘ with time…’- and I do. I require contact and longevity… a quality in the words between us and an openness that may feel intrusive, but in reality, I only seek to understand- at times I feel understood.

ive always had more emotional intelligence than smarts. I am certainly infinitely square… and casual with myself or others is just not in my cards. I say thank you to steven for never trying to change me- but only to better clarify my contracts and help me to keep my agreements.