new style

I left my twenties on a dance floor out in Havasu the summer of '96. The boys were trying to buy me some Sex on the beach, slammin the jello shots. CHP's finest were opening up the party to me and my girls- we brought along the boys we met from Pitt. Oooo the night was so nice. Havasu could party Philly style and I didn't know a person there! I was moving cross country and stumbled- schmack... in the middle of McKee's.

Only weeks before I had left my freedom in a '79 Pumpkin Orange Volvo Stationwagon, somewhere in Bucks County PA… nearly being dug out of a snow bank- buried in the Blizzard of the century… leaving me to walk to and from work sporting a Fine selection of Carhartt Beanies and Sweatshirts.

Come to think of it, I left my style in the bathroom hamper of our one room apartment behind the pizza shop in ..Alameda… Married again. Broke. Baby number 2 on the way… Wore my Aldo boots till the soles fell off. Haven't seen much of her in a decade. The girl who showed up with style- her favorite accessory being a Chill FWB, in his Doc's- making their way to whatever city the other was in.

Lately I thirst for Philly… to taste the air for a weekend. The smells on Broad and some Jungle Fever Eye candy. Damn! Philly has got some Effin Hot mens.

I left Philly and Hippie me landed in SFO- with a man who sat me on his lap in front of his friends and announced to give him 3 months and I'd look like Cindy Crawford. Hell, from wince I came, I was Cindy Crawford. I was a fish out of water here. Naw, I ain't the Zesty salsa Doritos of the bunch- but I wasn't used to not being enough…
Somehow I still held on to what was left of my self confidence until an argument, me sitting in my farm house in Delaware- him here in Scottsdale… a few years back. He wasn't sure how I'd make it here cause they don't have fat girls in Phoenix. I tell you, what I had left of esteem was trampled that afternoon... Down the drain of the Kitchen Zink. Till lately.

Guess What- They do have Fat girls in Phoenix. I'm one of 'em.
You know what they don't have as much of on the scene? They ain't got so much Cultured, Artistic, Tree Hugging, Educated, Articulate, Gourmet Cook, Love Machine Givers. They were a little short on those- So I gladly fill that Bill.

I was in a position to do a very nice thing for someone last week… quiet… understated… stalkerish. East Coast- that's what it was. It was an East Coast thing to do, to make sure a day was made- and I wouldn't get one ounce of credit for it. My efforts were met with a very complimentary and appreciative response… That response just re-grounded me.

My twenties may be getting kicked around a dance floor in Havasu; my freedom may have been sold with that Hippie Wagon and my style may have been shoved to the back of the closet to raise these kids… But my heart- it Ain't been compromised, not one little bit. I love that!

I miss dancing all night. I especially need a new car. I would love to fly to Philly for some New York hair and Jill in concert… I can't wait to move to NorCal and I am not losing weight anytime soon… But I got a circle of friends I wouldn't trade one of those relics for. I'm doing alright for a country girl- with a kick ass music collection!